There are times when I just want to flop myself on the ground, throw a fit, and yell "Why?! Why is life unfair?!"

Today is one of those times. This morning, around 11 I believe, my grandpa Jack passed away in Idaho. For those of you who don't know what's been going on with him I will try to explain... In April of this year my grandpa was sent to Salt Lake for a quadruple bypass surgery and a valve replacement because he was having heart problems. After the first surgery was completed his heart was doing great but they discovered blockage in some of his arteries leading to his brain. There were a lot more complications during his stay in the hospital there but finally in June he was able to go home to Idaho.

My grandpa was an amazing man, to say the least. I loved him as much as any little girl can love her grandpa. He was like a super hero to me, nothing could keep him down. He had been through so much including ridiculous stuff like brain surgery and West Nile. I even wrote in my journal during the time of West Nile that it was so hard for me to see my big, strong grandpa so weak. I didn't believe it could ever happen. But he was always so resilient. He was always there. He would always tell me that his favorite memory with me was sitting on the concrete steps in the back when I was little and I was explaining to him, "I have a dad, and a step dad. And my step dad makes me eat vegetables. Vegetables are disgusting." And he always just laughed when he would tell me that because he was impressed with my vocabulary at such a young age. And just remembering how he would tell me that story makes me miss him so much it almost hurts.

The last time I got to see my grandpa was in the hospital in Salt Lake when Zac and I stopped on our way through during the California to Chicago move. I hate that that is my last memory of him. I'm so glad he got to go home from the hospital and spend time with the family before he passed. I can just imagine him back at home laying on the floor of the living room in his spot just like he always did. Oh man, I gotta stop, I haven't stopped crying since I started writing.

I know this isn't the most eloquent writing, but I needed something to do rather than sit here in my apartment and cry. I can't wait to be home with the family, I fly out on Sunday. I want to just sit with them and relive our happiest memories of grandpa, to work through this together. It still feels surreal for me.

Here are some photos that I took for grandma and grandpa in April, the night before they headed to Salt Lake for the surgery. This is how I want to remember him, so in love with grandma and happy in little ol' Firth.

Chi-Town

This past weekend I went up to Chicago with Zac, Sam, and Ben. It was pretty fun minus the fact that by the time we got back to the car my feet felt like they were bleeding because I have bad judgement in shoes. No big thang.

We walked past the Transformers 3 set that they have downtown, it was pretty awesome. No celeb spottings or anything but still cool. This is Bumblebee under the grey cover and possibly a concept Porsche under the red. It's just a guess though. And I say that like I was the one guessing. Ha.

According to Zac the Chicago skyline is the prettiest, even better than New York!

Ummm... I love that one in the middle. I like the other ones, too but DANG that middle guy ;)

Navy Pier on Lake Michigan

PS

Those dumplings are delish. Try them. NOW.

Food. Glorious food.

I'm not kidding when I say I've been on a cooking kick.

My sisters make fun of me for my constant runs to the grocery store and for my need to bake delicious treats on a regular basis.

I have made delectable lemon loaf a la Starbucks, the most amazing coconut bread EVAH, and homemade oreos (or as Grandma Bonnie calls them, whoopie pies).

All within the past 2 weeks.

Stop me.

Before I die in a happy sugar induced coma.

Tonight I plan on making this delightful Pioneer Woman apple dumpling recipe for Zac and some of the other reps. They will love me.

My point? I don't know. All I know is that I am going through a phase, and I may need to become reacquainted with the elliptical machine.

Updates and such.

I was going to do a longer post. There was going to be lots of pictures. But guess what? (grumble grumble) This computer is lame-o. Or I am. One of those. So here are the ones that actually loaded. They're all just a recap of some stuff I've been up to.

These are some necklaces I made a couple weeks ago! One of the other wives here was a ceramics major in college and but now that she has kids she just does smaller stuff like this. She put on a little "class" for us so we could make our own and I love them! My favorite is the one with the chain on it because if you can't tell I'm a little in love with our initials.

Sometimes when Zac is knocking he gets some random stuff from people, this is just one example. He sold a system to someone and they gave him a big frame with this awesome Polish poster in it. I have a bunch of smaller posters from Russia that I planned on putting in my kitchen so this will actually fit in perfectly! PS if anyone can read Polish I'd love to know what it says... It seems a little weird to me so knowing what it means would make me feel better about putting it on a wall.

This picture was behind the Polish poster. Kind of cool? I think? I don't know what I would ever do with it but I know I should keep it around because it will serve some purpose.

Sooo since we've been out here in Chicago I've taken to cooking. It's my new thang. I was getting a pretty big head because I hadn't made a single dinner that Zac didn't like even with recipes I had never tried! So the other night I was attempting to make Southwest egg rolls like the appetizers at Chili's. I only ever use the front burner on my stove but I needed to heat up my oil on the back burner this time. I didn't check before I turned on the heat though and when I turned around there were flames coming up around the sides of my skillet! Ahhh! There must have been something stuck on/under the burner that started it. Now mind you, the flames are coming up around the sides of a pan with oil in it, I just picture the flames getting bigger and starting a big grease fire in the pan! So I started screaming. And hopping (seriously.) around my little kitchen yelling "Um. Zac. Baby. Um." for what seems like FOREVER. I couldn't even say "FIRE!" because apparently I was in the middle of panicking. But he ran in and asked me where the baking powder was so I pointed to the cupboard next to the stove and he took his sweeeet time getting it out. Luckily, Zac knew exactly what to do and didn't panic. What an awesome husband. So this picture is the result. Ta-da. Scary.

Finally!

So after a couple weeks of me not knowing that much about this new (to us) computer we have I was getting so frustrated with not being able to post on my blog... I'm Mac impared. I finally stopped using Firefox and clicked on the Safari thingy and bam! I can post again! Anyways, I'm excited because I can finally post some picture of our new apartment and of our latest adventures and such! But that will have to be tomorrow...

For now, I just want to let you all know that I've started a new little business! Check out www.prettylittlesomethings.bigcartel.com! I've been making headbands like a madwoman and I've decided to set up a little shop! Check it out, look for me here on Facebook, tell your friends, help me out! :)