I have now been a waitress for a year, and what a year it has been... I figured I would write up some of my most memorable moments as a server, they're humorous and absolutely real. I feel like every single person should have to work in food service at least once in their lives so they know how it feels. I think the world would truly be a better place. Anyways, on with the tales...
>When I was a server at Goodwood (a BBQ place in Utah) it was pretty common for the tables to be dirty when people left, not a big deal. It's part of the job. One day though, I had a group of younger guys (maybe 18ish) come in and they all ordered ribs, I'm not lying when I say that the rib bones were literally EVERYWHERE. I don't know if they were throwing them at each other or what but I couldn't believe the mess they had left AND left me a $1 tip. Thanks a bunch, guys.
>I have had mothers breastfeed VERY openly in my section, and when I'm checking on the food at the table, really the last thing I want to see is another woman's naked boobs. C'mon ladies, they're called hooter hiders, get one.
>Almost the same, I've had babies dirty diapers changed on empty tables RIGHT next to people eating. I don't care if there's nobody there right now, people eat food on those tables! Also, please don't hand me a poopy diaper and ask me to throw it away for you. I'm a nice enough person that I will, but I promise I'm trying not to dry heave.
>I had a group of three older mobster guys (ok, maybe not THE mob, but they would fit in.) come in, order me around, leave an insanely small tip but feel like that's acceptable because they left me their HOTEL ROOM KEY. Yeah, seriously. Here's a couple hints- I am fully aware that I look younger than I am, so they could very well be leaving their nastiness to an underage girl. Also, if you want to impress a girl you're hoping to seduce, don't be cheap! Oh and one last one, I'm wearing a wedding ring, you're wearing a wedding ring, DON'T BE A SKEEZE.
>On multiple occasions I've had people offer to buy me "a drink" and when I politely tell them I don't drink they've gotten pretty aggressive about trying to convince me it's ok. Sorry folks, no means no. A complete drunken stranger isn't going to change my morals.
>I got to meet Wee Man from the Jackass movies. Not that I'm a huge fan or anything but it's still a famous person! I was hostessing when he came in to the restaurant to promote Monster energy drinks and so I asked him, "Hey, can I get a picture with you before you go in there? I'm sure you'll be busy" and he just strolls on past me and said NO! I was shocked, I honestly thought he was SUCH a jerk but then he turned around and was like "I'm just kidding, come here!" So I still can't decide if he is nice or not...
>This one is the absolute worst story, and the most recent. Read with caution. The other day I was working a very slow lunch shift and I had an older lady come in by herself. She had a small lunch and 4 glasses of chardonnay while reading at her table. I was in the kitchen when the bartender came over to me and asked if the lady at the table was mine, I told her she was and asked why, to which she replied "She's peeing herself". !!!!!!!!!! Seriously?! So I walk out to the dining area and sure enough, there was a big ol' puddle right underneath her chair but this lady didn't even blink an eye! She had NO. CLUE. I was in complete shock, they didn't train me for this! I'm not exaggerating when I say I went through a moment of panic at the thought of approaching this sweet lady and letting her know she had relieved herself! I went straight to my manager (who is such a doll! she was a CNA for years and I knew she would know what to do!) and let her take care of the rest. Hands down, weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. The rest of the story is kind of crazy as well, we helped the lady out to her car, only letting her drive because she was staying at the hotel literally across the street but as soon as she pulled out she pulled right into the liquor store next door! We ended up having to get her a cab which she wasn't too happy about but we couldn't let her drive! So odd.
Sooo let's just say I'm pretty happy to be starting my new job as a bank teller tomorrow. I'm ready for something a little more calm and dependable! Wish me luck!
PS, I love serving stories. Tell me yours!